Monday, October 25, 2010

I Am Not Joe Miller and Do the Youth Know Better?

As if the tea baggers haven't overused the statement already, Joe Miller has decided to excuse his shady background with the lame line: "I am just like you...the voter... warts and all..." I hate that line. 1-because I don't have your warts Joe and 2- I want elected officials to be better than me. Only tea party nuts would want their politicians to be of average intellect and never better!
Another election topic:
I am reading about the potential young voters in the 2010 election and the question on everybodys' mind is--will they be participating or not? Analysts cringe as they speak of young voters being unmotivated and lacking the enthusiasm to participate in the political process. To prove how unenthused they are, many young people are stating it won't really make a difference who gets control of congress. The Dems worry about this all the time--especially because currently young voters are polling as having a much better impression of Obamas' job performance than their parents' generation does. So what gives?
Well my theory is that the young people are actually more pragmatic than their paranoid parents. I always love saying stuff like: if the youth of today would stop sexting each other and doing bong hits, maybe they would pay more attention and vote. But I can't help but notice their instinctive honesty about Obama--like what's the problem? I still like the guy, I knew the world wasn't going to reverse directions in a few months....It looks like the older generation is the one with the crazy unrealistic expectations for Obama--and they really should know better!!! I remember when the Tea Party and queen Sarah started criticizing Obama--he had barely slept a night in the white house, and they wanted everyone to think he had failed, failed and failed--at everything.
Well if you scream and yell loud enough--people do hear you. Eventually all the dumb-asses who hear this nonsense believe it and there you go--a ridiculous midterm election where voters are swaying towards the Republicans based on bad sound bites. Totally ignoring that Obama did not fail-- afterall he did stop the giant depression everyone was excited about just two years ago. And real change will take a long time to be appreciated and noticed. But for now, it seems only the young stoners seem to have the patience to understand this....

Thursday, October 21, 2010

The Funny House as Status Symbol?

My house looks funny. It is what in Alaska is known as "Owner Built", which means no professionals were ever consulted in the building of our property. This probably seems impossible to lower 48 folks, but this house was built with no permits, no codes, no nothing but a "git her done" attitude. It started as an old garage in 1936, then was made into a house in the 1950's, an addition in 1978 and lastly a dining area in 1990. The resulting creation has four different roofs, half-assed foundations (notice the plural) and plumbing secured to floor joists with shoe laces.
Nevertheless, it is a happy little place. Nestled on a glacial river with lots of privacy. We have also added wood and tile accents (mostly to hide bizarre sheetrock cracks of unknown origins) and thus most people actually call our cottage "cute".
I too like our house, and often feel happy entering the door after traveling and nestling by the wood stove. It even has a bizarre doughnut lay-out which we really enjoy and keeps everyone running in circles.
Here's the problem: society hates my house. I feel this pressure all the time. Most people I know are fairly well educated and thus have attained good paying jobs. The way "society" tells them to exhibit their hard working success is with a pretty house, at the least, a pretty big house. I know my own brother has mocked my "white trash home", heard it called a "starter house" or even worse had friends on the East Coast refer to homes nicer than mine as "shacks". Yikes!
So it stings, as I know many people feel my little crooked cottage must mean we are unsuccessful and clueless dorks. So about 5 times a year I get all self-conscious about it and start looking at nearby homes more appropriate for our means. The problem is--we always hate these "normal" houses. They have no character, privacy or lousy floor plans. What is important to us, doesn't matter to anyone else and vice versa (like I say- screw the stainless steel fridge) you'll spend the rest of your days wiping paw prints off of it....and cheap granite counter tops emit radon--fun for them!

I just can't believe that I sometimes succumb to this nagging feeling that we need a nicer home to prove to others that we are not bums. (and rebuilding this home would never pay off in our rural neighborhood). For now I am over it, but I am sure it will return...

Monday, October 18, 2010

Why Do I Dislike What Everyone Else Likes??

I am not afraid to know who I am. Increasingly I have become aware that most people around me just want something different out of life than I do. In these times of "constitutional rights" -do I even have the right to not want what everyone else does?
Here's my list of top offenders:
1-McMansions- So they say this trend is winding down. Phooey! --I have not seen it here at all, people in Alaska still look for big, bigger and biggest homes.

2-Costco- It would be like a national sin to reveal that I am afraid of Costco. So "they" tell me to go during the week, not Saturday--tried it, and I was still scared. Nothing but giant items on creepy warehouse shelves about to fall on your head. Not to mention the giant people buying buckets of mayonnaise and chicken wings. A true haunted house, I return only for their very good pizza price...(Alaska pizza is highway robbery)

3- WalMart- Even though I have never entered a Wal-Mart, I can't support it. Then I read that some fancy US reporter is going to China to see why their economy is working...duh reporter--ever been to Wal-Mart? That's why China is working.

4- Social Networking- Creepy! I joined a site once, only to get Eastern European men sending me half naked pictures of themselves with inquiries about gold mining in Alaska. All these sites do is sell your info for advertising revenue so you can tell everyone that your cat coughed up a hairball. When people start using social networking to spread real news and help society (instead of cyberbullying) maybe I'll take a look...

5- Minivans- so they are safe and roomy for the kiddos. But if you buy the world's most boring car, all that will happen is this: you will have an early midlife crisis, drink three shots of tequila and wind up with a daffy duck tattoo thinking that you are now cool. My recommendation: lose the van.

6- Big screen TVs. Don't want want, don't care. Why is it that my family is the only one that never finds the time to watch TV?

7- I phone- Don't even think I am spelling this device right. Don't need it, whatever it is. Or if I had one, would I finally have enough time to watch that big screen TV? Doesn't anyone realize that techno gadgets are a downward spiral--once you get hooked you always need to buy the newest one??? Goodbye money.

8- Scenting parties. This sounds perverted to those that may not know what it is (so maybe it doesn't count on my little list) Nevertheless--it's a sober gathering to sell scented candles to mothers wanting a brief social outlet. (The new tupper ware party) Yikes. Quite popular here in Alaska. I could not do this soberly and I am allergic to chemical scents. Maybe I would do an organic essential oil & wine tasting party instead??

9- Subdivisions.- Instead of community building, neighborhoods today are usually part of the "keeping up with the Jones'" disease. Besides, my family wants to run around loudly outside and let the dogs howl. In the end I would be spending oodles of money on apology gift baskets to the neighbors.

10- Not leaving the wilderness wild. In Alaska one can't read a newspaper or drive a car without seeing some sort of pro-mining, drilling, developing something statement. It has taken me a while to see how the "other side" views this issue. They just feel the wilderness holds no value as is. It is "unimproved" land needing the awesome hand of man to extract or build something from it instead. According to these folks the right of man to extract resources for financial gain (see above- to afford their McMansions and Costco) trumps my "right" to enjoy virgin landscape.

That's the list for today. I have not found the place I belong within my own society...

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Stress as Status

I was reading an article the other day, in which a female university professor was ranting about the girls in her feminist class wanting to be "stay at home mommies". This professor spewed all the old 70's lines about how the kiddos need to see mommy go off to work and make something of herself instead of becoming a dysfunctional helicopter parent.
Yet I don't really understand where this educated lady gets her data and ideas. The argument has gotten pretty old and I thought everyone already knew there are truths on both side of the coin--(some families do better with stay at home parents and others just don't). You could never prove one side completely right as there are too many variables- actual family dynamics, communities and income to name a few, that would affect the outcome of such a study.

So then let us focus on the mommies instead. As a feminist professor, can't she get over her hang ups about all the educated ladies needing careers? Can't she just embrace the fact that true liberated women do what is best for them and their families?
So many working women don't even like their careers and ensuing stress. I have seen it for myself--as a working mom comes home, stressed out of her pickles and just rolls her eyes at the kids, blames the laundry pile and orders a pizza. Is this the enviable goal?
Not to mention, that there is nothing wrong with dad quiting a stressful career as well if the family can make it work.
I can't get over how some people who moan about unemployment --yet don't ever blame the "dualies" (dual income families) for sucking up all the good jobs. Some numbers show that 43% of ladies worked in 1950 compared to about 80% in 2010--You could say I am blaming women, but I am not--if they really want those jobs, then maybe the men should step aside..

Of course at this point, my little essay would piss off any dual income family that says they need to have two jobs to get by. And I can't argue with that. There are really crappy jobs out there, where only 2 jobs make any financial sense.
Unfortunately, for every family that needs two jobs, I can pull one out of the hat that just "wants" two jobs. Families where mom and dad hate being home, or families that like brand new cars and high mortgages. Or even worse--families that fill giant play rooms with buckets full of tacky toys made in China--yuck, don't work for that! (hasn't anyone noticed that unemployment numbers are based on 'wanting' a job, not 'needing?')
And this stems from what I call the "status of stress": that I-have-made-it in crazy America, because I am too tired to mow my own lawn, or cook my own dinner or even read a real book....The last thing we need is some bitter professor professing that this is something worth achieving.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Life Less Seriously

I know, I stole the less seriously line from an 1980's song, but it came to mind today... As I was sipping my morning coffee and watching the sheeple panic inducing Today show. The populist program was doing a quick piece on bullying and suicide, specifically about some teens in Ohio, that were bullied for their differences, ultimately leading to their suicides.
I have always stood by my simple belief that teens are wolves. The alphas will circle the omegas until they are kicked out of the pack. I am not sure what omega wolves do from there, but I believe they become "lone wolves" until they find another pack...
But suicide is not the answer for the wolves. Why is it for the humans?? I can certainly appreciate and remember how when you are a human teen "fitting in" seemed like life and death. It was crazy. And of course humans are more analytical than wolves and take this omega status so much more to heart--thus the resulting depression.
But what if we could somehow stop taking the "pack" so seriously? Easier said than done, but part of the problem is our rat-race society, and the resulting inflexibility.
I always go on and on, about how nobody seems to care about education in Alaska--but there is actually a silver lining to all that. It's the home-school, GED is ok, whatever mentality. One of my coworkers in Alaska nonchalantly remarked how instead of high school she just dropped out at 14, got her GED and lived in a cabin and worked in Girdwood. No big deal. But to someone coming from NJ--it sounded sooo outrageous.
Would it help if more bullied teens felt they had such flexible options? If you don't fit in, feel bullied, whatever, just leave the school. What if there was more support to just find a new school, get home schooled, get your GED and start community college...?(I don't ever feel no education is an answer).

But people might just freak out about these alternatives, they take it all so seriously...like leaving school will screw up their college transcripts..or they need to tough it out. Well the "tough it out" thing doesn't really fly anymore, as these days job-jumping is the norm as well. Besides, so many of these "different" kids are actually the geniuses of tomorrow, they can't fit in, nor should they. Colleges certainly respect home-schooled kids and GED kids, especially if they do something productive. (I know of a kid in Chicago who dropped out of high school to start a nightclub and went on to become a genetic engineer)
I don't proclaim to have all the answers to this sad and complex issue, but a bit of flexibility couldn't hurt....sending a howl for all those omegas out there!

Friday, October 8, 2010

The Irony of Alaska's Joe Miller

Alaska has it's own circus going on right now regarding the upcoming election. Lisa Murkowski's non-traditional write in bid is actually quite boring (yawn) compared to the wacky, wacky contradictions of Tea Party sweetheart Joe Miller...
I can't quite figure out, who is a Joe Miller fan? Ok, the well-off, I see some nice houses with Joe signs and that makes sense to me--they are doing well, don't want more taxes, and screw the "lazy poor".
But it's the underprivileged voters that get my goat--the trailers and yards full of jalopies with their "constitutional freedom" and "Joe Miller" signs that send my mind spinning...
So these not-rich folks, want to benefit less from government programs--like Denali kidcare (medicaid) or social security...right? and then these poor folks also don't want to pay their imaginary taxes -- (aren't you exempt from taxes at low incomes in this country ?)
Whatever. The great irony of Joe Miller is that without much advanced snooping, the press is all over his past of government programs--are there any he didn't even apply for?? I mean farm subsidies, unemployment, low income hunting license and Denail kidcare (medicaid) for his kids.

Now Joe's statement is "my family has had its struggles". Ok, so the Miller family struggled, used these programs, he got a good education & job, then zoomed ahead in the capitalist system. But excuse me--no other poor person should have these 'unconstitutional' benefits, right? And the best part is-- that he can fool a bunch of uneducated people to put signs in their yard in support of 'no benefits for me' (heaven forbid they become successful like Joe Miller--right??)
There used to be a joke: that an environmentalist is someone who builds a house in the woods, and then doesn't allow anyone else to do so.
I guess the new joke is: a Tea Party conservative is someone who uses government benefits to get ahead--and then doesn't allow anyone else to do the same....

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Understanding Palin Vindictiveness

Often when one reads about Sarah Palin and company, especially in more local venues...the term "vindictive streak" is used to describe her. In other words, if someone speaks ill or wrongs the Palins, they just can't let it go....I have not yet read the book "Going Rogue", but apparently, a few former friends are thrown under the bus in that wonder of modern literature.
Living in Alaska, the vindictive thing is simply commonplace normality--but I want to clarify this type of behavior to the Blue State people who may not have experienced it....
First of all, remember, I love Alaska--the folksy values, honesty and old fashioned people--it is the friendliest place I have ever lived. That said though, there is this wacky (may I say 'red-neck?') type behavior in a few people where they just can't back away from a fight, pissing match, what have you...
Stories of shooting matches over fishing spots, beating up the neighbor over a fence line and other such civilized behavior makes the local news quite often. I remember hearing in Anchorage from a friend whose wooden bear statue was stolen by neighborhood kids. The family knows who did it, told the authorities and wham! statue was returned to the lawn...but beheaded. Just to show them, that they should not have told. I'll admit beheading is not that common, but the "I'll show them", thinking is.
Here's a completely unknown Sarah story: when Sarah Palin was a nothing, about 10 years ago, her sister was paying housing rent to a man that she also shared the bedroom with. This upset Sarah's sense of justice and brought out her inner vindictive 'pitbull'. She marched up the drive and demanded that said man stop requesting rent from her poor sister as the relationship was more than just renter. I guess it's sweet that Sarah wants to defend her sibling, but couldn't the adult sister decide for herself whether she should split the mortgage with her lover?
That said, it just doesn't seem like the Palins can outgrow this type of thinking, to start choosing their battles wisely, letting it roll off their backs and taking the high road...
And this could be our next president! Where's that new habitable planet that was discovered? Get me a launch ticket!

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Never Ending Poop Saga

Now that the excavator showed up and dug up our sewer line one would think that my poop lifestyle would finally come to a reprieve. Unfortunately, I have no such luck.
After the excavator left, my husband mentioned he had chatted with him briefly about the septic tank. It appears that (behind my back) the dude mentioned to my husband that the entrance to our septic was jammed with a "kotex like material". WTF does that imply?
Am I so stupid (being the sole female in the household) to not know that after 9 years of living with a septic system I should not flush a giant maxi pad down the toilet?? Doesn't every woman on earth know not to do such a thing? (Even in a city system.) Did we have crazy guests over just itching to dispose of their feminine products down our country toilet??? Or do imps and gnomes show up and flush kotex down my toilet? What could this "product" really be?

Luckily the power went out due to a windstorm that knocked the neighbors tree down--distracting me from fuming about the sexist assumption that women screw up septic systems...So we took the dogs to the "self-serve dog wash"--a popular thing in Alaska instead of fancy groomers. Two hours later the beasts were brushed and clean. Unfortunately the dogs don't think of this as clean--they think of it as "odor vulnerable" or something like that.
The first thing they do at home is try to rub their necks in dirt (I have been told that is where the scent glands are). We steered them away from this activity, and they spent the night smelling like spring breezes and sunshine.
Of course the following day, they had had enough and sensed their canine opportunity when I opened the front door--sprinting past me in a mad gallop...heading for the hills. I can never stop the 120 pounds of determined muscle when they decide to knock me over and run away. I had a good idea where they were heading though--the neighbors house.
Sure enough, they returned only 20 minutes later, and Dingbat was covered with a yellow substance--horse manure. She just had to roll in horse manure...! That will show us to stop trying to get away from our poop-centric lifestyle...good grief, it's my calling.