The Funny House as Status Symbol?

My house looks funny. It is what in Alaska is known as "Owner Built", which means no professionals were ever consulted in the building of our property. This probably seems impossible to lower 48 folks, but this house was built with no permits, no codes, no nothing but a "git her done" attitude. It started as an old garage in 1936, then was made into a house in the 1950's, an addition in 1978 and lastly a dining area in 1990. The resulting creation has four different roofs, half-assed foundations (notice the plural) and plumbing secured to floor joists with shoe laces.
Nevertheless, it is a happy little place. Nestled on a glacial river with lots of privacy. We have also added wood and tile accents (mostly to hide bizarre sheetrock cracks of unknown origins) and thus most people actually call our cottage "cute".
I too like our house, and often feel happy entering the door after traveling and nestling by the wood stove. It even has a bizarre doughnut lay-out which we really enjoy and keeps everyone running in circles.
Here's the problem: society hates my house. I feel this pressure all the time. Most people I know are fairly well educated and thus have attained good paying jobs. The way "society" tells them to exhibit their hard working success is with a pretty house, at the least, a pretty big house. I know my own brother has mocked my "white trash home", heard it called a "starter house" or even worse had friends on the East Coast refer to homes nicer than mine as "shacks". Yikes!
So it stings, as I know many people feel my little crooked cottage must mean we are unsuccessful and clueless dorks. So about 5 times a year I get all self-conscious about it and start looking at nearby homes more appropriate for our means. The problem is--we always hate these "normal" houses. They have no character, privacy or lousy floor plans. What is important to us, doesn't matter to anyone else and vice versa (like I say- screw the stainless steel fridge) you'll spend the rest of your days wiping paw prints off of it....and cheap granite counter tops emit radon--fun for them!

I just can't believe that I sometimes succumb to this nagging feeling that we need a nicer home to prove to others that we are not bums. (and rebuilding this home would never pay off in our rural neighborhood). For now I am over it, but I am sure it will return...

Keeping Up With the Joneses--Alaskan style

I always love to comment on how many Americans are obsessed with the game of "Keeping Up With the Joneses". Or as it is also know: achieving some sort of perceived status through material gain...
One of the most interesting things about Alaskans is that most of them don't participate in that sort of lifestyle. Sure, new folks move to the state all the time and proceed to hide in color-coded gated communities, or lobby for more shopping malls. Yet outside of Anchorage, the majority of Alaskans still march around in dirty coveralls and drive beat-up pick up trucks. What makes it interesting, is that Alaskans have money, they just don't care about the status quo. If they did--I have devised a list of how to 'keep up with your Alaskan neighbors'...

1- Collect as many jalopies as possible, then arrange strategically throughout your property.
2- Build the perfect out-house and get it published in any of the outhouse books & calendars.
3- Go shopping in rubber boots- "xtra-tuffs"- it shows that you just may have been fishing.
4- Park a giant RV on your front-lawn, then use it only once a year.
5- Also obtain a large steel, shipping crate. Store yard sale finds within in.
6- Do not side your house--only leave the Tyvek showing, this proves that you are smarter than the tax assessor.
7- Obtain a horse or livestock to take care of the yard. Never be seen pushing a lawn mower.
8- Park the snowmachine in clear view, then everyone will know you are adventurous.
9- Always be seen in dirty work overalls. It shows that you are tougher than any professional.
10-Make sure your pick-up truck has large tires, is covered in mud & has at least one obscene bumper sticker.

If I am Running Am I Being Chased?

I recently spoke to my dubious relative Ratboy. He informed me that by leaving the East Coast I had left behind the impression that I had "run away".
Run away from what I asked? Ratboy thought for a moment and stated, "all this, the East Coast". What exactly does that mean? I am not one of those Alaskans that came to Alaska in order to evade the law. As far as I know, no crime was committed.
Yet, the other East Coast inhabitants are perplexed--how could she not like traffic congestion, pollution and playing 'Keep up with the Joneses'?
As far as I am concerned, they are just trapped. Trapped in a world where you are drowning in debt to impress your neighbors. Where kids mock each others outfits at school. And everyone needs to believe this is good--otherwise why would they be putting up with all the stress??
I am the space alien who got on the space ship and left mars, because I finally realized that it was just a dusty, dry planet after all.....

Don't Cry for Me Ratboy

When we left for Alaska, I left behind a few relatives on the East Coast. One relative in particular was quite close to me, yet was even closer to the life of opulence he chose for himself. He had bought the myth of the rat race prize- hook, line & sinker. There is a direct line between self-worth and a home's square footage in this world of the rat.
He admits he is miserable with his life of dual income commuting and the shuttled away child that eventually becomes a stranger. But -hey, did you know the neighbors house cost 1 million?

When rat race boy came to visit my humble abode in Alaska, I think it scared the pretentious pants off of him. Our small home in the woods is an old saw mill, put together by bits and pieces without any particular plan or building code. The result is a work in progress, and I am aware of the need for various upgrades. However, the biggest shock for my East Coast visitor was probably the lack of "you've made it" square footage.

He flew back to his land of snobs and envy to report that we were struggling. That we must be having some sort of financial problems.

It is pretty incredible to me that someone would miss that I am rich with mountain views, fresh wild berries, a river full of salmon and familial harmony. That I love my home and feel happy here.

So listen up: If you want to spend your time keeping up with the Joneses, so be it. But please don't pity me, as I am much too busy being content with my life.