Keeping Up With the Joneses--Alaskan style

I always love to comment on how many Americans are obsessed with the game of "Keeping Up With the Joneses". Or as it is also know: achieving some sort of perceived status through material gain...
One of the most interesting things about Alaskans is that most of them don't participate in that sort of lifestyle. Sure, new folks move to the state all the time and proceed to hide in color-coded gated communities, or lobby for more shopping malls. Yet outside of Anchorage, the majority of Alaskans still march around in dirty coveralls and drive beat-up pick up trucks. What makes it interesting, is that Alaskans have money, they just don't care about the status quo. If they did--I have devised a list of how to 'keep up with your Alaskan neighbors'...

1- Collect as many jalopies as possible, then arrange strategically throughout your property.
2- Build the perfect out-house and get it published in any of the outhouse books & calendars.
3- Go shopping in rubber boots- "xtra-tuffs"- it shows that you just may have been fishing.
4- Park a giant RV on your front-lawn, then use it only once a year.
5- Also obtain a large steel, shipping crate. Store yard sale finds within in.
6- Do not side your house--only leave the Tyvek showing, this proves that you are smarter than the tax assessor.
7- Obtain a horse or livestock to take care of the yard. Never be seen pushing a lawn mower.
8- Park the snowmachine in clear view, then everyone will know you are adventurous.
9- Always be seen in dirty work overalls. It shows that you are tougher than any professional.
10-Make sure your pick-up truck has large tires, is covered in mud & has at least one obscene bumper sticker.