Ok, this is not an entry complaining about my life, or saying it is crappy--it is not crappy in the sense one might think, but in the literal sense: just crap, poop, manure.
It all begins with the excessive pet situation here at the house. One rescue dog, one stray that never went away, and two elderly cats set via Northwest airlines to our home...
Obviously the combo of these critters produce a lot of waste (oh did I mention that the dogs are 50 pounds plus and the cats are FAT) It is obviously my job to deal with their waste--and I hate poop piles on the lawn, so I am out there scooping away...
Speaking of poop piles--the moose is just like any other inefficient ungulate--it just walks and poops all day long , leaving behind these large towers of olives--they don't even decompose or collapse--so I have no choice but to scoop 'em too. (I didn't mean to imply I have a personal moose, I don't--it is everyone's to share in the neighborhood).
Lastly, is the sewer lagoon underneath my home. This is by far the crappiest. Sometimes we joke--"do we even have indoor plumbing?" As my sewer pipe seems to overflow whenever it feels like it. It does this is in the most interesting way--by blowing out the giant steel clean-out plug on the main line, without any warning to us. Resulting in a blast of sewage pouring into the basement--at which point it takes a few days for the odor to creep back up the pipes and remind us: "don't look in the basement, you don't want to know".....
So finally we paid the sewer guy $275 to film a "dirty movie" down our sewer line to see why it has this magical power to gross out our home. And it appears the line outside has buckled/bellied, another way to say: it fell into a sink hole.
So a fun excavator dude will be coming to dig it all up soon--and maybe the poop party will end once and for all for us...but what can I do about all those pets??
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