My Life of Crap

Ok, this is not an entry complaining about my life, or saying it is crappy--it is not crappy in the sense one might think, but in the literal sense: just crap, poop, manure.
It all begins with the excessive pet situation here at the house. One rescue dog, one stray that never went away, and two elderly cats set via Northwest airlines to our home...
Obviously the combo of these critters produce a lot of waste (oh did I mention that the dogs are 50 pounds plus and the cats are FAT) It is obviously my job to deal with their waste--and I hate poop piles on the lawn, so I am out there scooping away...
Speaking of poop piles--the moose is just like any other inefficient ungulate--it just walks and poops all day long , leaving behind these large towers of olives--they don't even decompose or collapse--so I have no choice but to scoop 'em too. (I didn't mean to imply I have a personal moose, I don't--it is everyone's to share in the neighborhood).
Lastly, is the sewer lagoon underneath my home. This is by far the crappiest. Sometimes we joke--"do we even have indoor plumbing?" As my sewer pipe seems to overflow whenever it feels like it. It does this is in the most interesting way--by blowing out the giant steel clean-out plug on the main line, without any warning to us. Resulting in a blast of sewage pouring into the basement--at which point it takes a few days for the odor to creep back up the pipes and remind us: "don't look in the basement, you don't want to know".....
So finally we paid the sewer guy $275 to film a "dirty movie" down our sewer line to see why it has this magical power to gross out our home. And it appears the line outside has buckled/bellied, another way to say: it fell into a sink hole.
So a fun excavator dude will be coming to dig it all up soon--and maybe the poop party will end once and for all for us...but what can I do about all those pets??

Honest Talk About Failing School Districts

School district funding is back in the news again, thanks to the Facebook founder kid donating a good chunk of change to the failing Newark NJ school district. All the news articles fawning over this event readily admit that spending per student is already high in this district--but nobody will mention the real bogeyman here.
It drives me nuts when so many media articles yap on and on about failing school districts and bad teachers and need for new programs, yet dance around the real issue. Which is: that students residing in communities with low social economic standards are screwed. It's just not P.C. to admit that the problem begins with the community and the home. One teacher I know was telling me how it's a known fact (among teachers) that when a school district reaches 40% free lunch (low income) the district is as good as doomed.
Why is this ? Because when you are raised in a home where nobody believes anything good will come from education (because, hey, it didn't work for me) they don't give a damn if you succeed or not. If your economic reality is only the crooks and pushers are rich-then you know that school is a joke. Out here in the poor communities of Alaska--they always feel that success comes from "connections", not education. It simply feels useless. It also doesn't help when the community at large mocks "nerdy" or successful kids in these types of impoverished areas.
You won't solve this ingrained mentality by blaming the poor teachers (and bless them for sticking it out in these difficult districts). But you need to target the parents. Everyone who was raised upper middle class knows that they were expected to succeed by their elders--not mocked for trying.
So take that Facebook money, and redirect it to the community--advertise on billboards, buses and TV that education is the real path to success and popularity. Change the "it's no use" mentality instead of bashing your head against the wall and flushing money down the drain.

My Adventures With Burnt Raspberry Jelly

Not too long ago, my family picked a gallon worth of wild raspberries from the forest on our property. As anyone knows, picking raspberries is usually not that fun- as you get constantly pricked and in Alaska the fun includes multiple mosquito bites on your fingers and ears..
I recently pulled out the freezer bag and thought the time had come to make some good wild raspberry jelly. I boiled, strained, added lemon and sugar-- it was looking really good. As it was cooking I noticed it had boiled over a bit--no problem, I skimmed the top, added some more sugar and set the heat on low. Or did I?
At the same time I set a pot of water to boil on high and went outside for five minutes...at least that's what I though. But oh crap--I came back in and the jelly was set on high and the pot of water was actually on low!
My beautiful raspberry sauce was now a thick brown goop. I couldn't stand to throw it out so I sealed it in a mason jar. The next day I forced myself to actually eat a peanut butter and burnt goop sandwich--yuck! It sort of tasted like weird molasses.
So I went on the oracle that is the internet and asked "what now??"
The first two articles I found seemed to imply: "tough luck, throw out the burnt jelly." I wasn't ready to give up and scrolled down further to a more optimistic idea: "use it for BBQ sauce."
So that's what I tried--cooked it lightly, adding vinegar, and ketchup--basting all over some broiled chicken. Holy doodles! It tasted great! Not like BBQ, but like Chinese food...
So now I call it my "secret sauce base". We have used this "burnt jelly goop" for fajita sauce, sesame chicken and other homemade concoctions. Sometimes adding some molasses or fish oil, even garlic. But I still can't believe that my "burnt jelly mistake" turned into one of the best sauces I have ever made (and I am not even a good cook).
Like lemonade out of lemons....

The Queen of Suburban Angst

Just like the public health community spreads the word of the latest salmonella outbreak, Arcade Fire has their own PSA, warning of the dangers of suburban angst..
I guess it's good to get knowledge of this social disease out in the open. But as I myself was once a self-professed Queen of Suburban angst, (well before it was identified as a marketable medical condition) I feel I have a few valid observations.
First of all, I cured my suburban angst quickly and completely by moving to Alaska. Luckily, once you are cured of this condition, it is much easier to reflect on its cause.
The first observation is that not everyone does hate the suburbs (wow!). Only after leaving did I realize that parents feel their kids are safe there, kids like to ride their bikes around and don't even need to fear their neighbors! Neat stuff.
Now the angst part usually only develops when you are a teenager. The two causes of angst are: A) realizing that safety is boring (as any philosopher will note: humans crave adversity). B) it is exhausting to constantly conform and "fit in".
At first one might think that only the artsy goth kids hate conformity. But now as an adult I realize that the peppy kids had it even harder. I mean by accepting that you aren't one of them, you can just breathe, claim your angst and detour around the conformity game. But if you are actually succeeding, then watch out--you need your eyes on the ball 24/7--are you wearing the right clothes, saying the right thing...? Then adults need to watch out for the proverbial Joneses next door--keeping up with the right car, landscaping and heaven forbid you have not painted your house beige!
The funny thing is, after overcoming my own suburban angst, I realize the safety thing isn't bad for little children after all, and can't say that everyone living in the suburbs will become nuts. On the other hand, those beige houses have got to go....

Your Constitutional Right to Rot

Yelling and more yelling about our freedom and rights, the constitution blah, blah-- it's all I ever hear in Alaska these days.
I don't know what exactly everyone is so upset about. What is the federal government doing to everyone?? Taking away their weed? Taxes?--guess what --nothing new. Then it must be health care reform...true enough there is that pesky new provision (as I understand it) that health insurance will become mandatory in the future. Maybe we can help folks worried about this with a "splat" amendment.
The splat amendment would be signed by those choosing to opt out of mandatory health care. These individuals swear that if they become disabled (say with diabetes--huge increase in cases) or get cancer or happen to fall "splat" off a building they are to be left to die. Just leave them there or send them out on an ice floe. No government benefits, or social security will ever be requested. Simple enough.

Tea Party, Libertarians, and the People

So I have been reading up on the differences between the tea-party people and what the libertarians have been saying all along. The most significant difference is obviously that the libertarians don't support useless & expensive wars, while the tea party folk feel they are quite all right (talk about spending tax payer money) but whatever.
Yet, if you truly look at honest libertarian ideas (say Ron Paul) you will find that "removing government" or less government as everyone yells & chants these days is really a much bigger sacrifice than anyone realizes.
Government is so entrenched in our system (food prices, utilities, mortgages, banks, credit) that if you yank the plug we would have the craziest price inflation, unemployment & poverty that anyone has ever seen or even dreamed of. I sort of agree (for environmental reasons) that it would be interesting to let the system collapse and start over again--but give me a break people. Who in their right mind would do this? The elected official (say a president) who actually followed through with this sort of idea (and eliminated corporate welfare as they call it) would be burned at the stake.
Then say you stopped social programs such as social security --did history disappear here? We can't remember why it was created in the first place???? Just travel to any country (say third or second world) and see what happens when people are left to take care of themselves....It's not nice--ever seen an orphanage full of disabled kids? That's where they go without government benefits--because you can't afford to keep them at home. Not to mention the terrible poverty of the elderly, disabled adults & increased death rates.
Have a good day people...

What Does 911 Have to do With Wasilla?

I am so frustrated having to drive around southcentral Alaska this week and see signs announcing "Rally to remember 911" at Wasilla sports complex. I have been in Alaska every year since 911 and nobody has given more than the occasional mini-speech or moment of silence up until now (sometimes not even that). Why the new interest in 2010?

As someone who actually was in the NY area during 911 I find this whole neo-concern obnoxious and suspicious at best. I don't know how many Alaskans were in NY then and saw the persistent smoke--(it went on for weeks), the strange smell in the air, the silence on the radio followed by excessive Enya songs for days on end....Not to mention the larger, more painful things--missing persons, knowing of a friend of a friend who was lost, or on their way downtown. The anxiety or phone calls from far away asking if you were ok, military jets flying overhead....

But now 9 years later Wasilla is all up in arms and going to show a massive graphic 911 slide show, supposedly with G. Beck and S. Palin in attendance--why? It doesn't sound like a vigil or respectable memorial service for the dead. The only thing a slide show will accomplish is getting people all paranoid again. Those images had to be stopped on the National media years ago, because they were scaring children!! Remember folks, all those ominous warnings--but yet nothing significant like this has happened in the 9 years since--so why get peoples panties in a bunch now?? I shudder to think what their real motive is to perpetuate this fear out of the blue.

No Child Left Behind is a Socialist System

Fidel Castro has recently admitted that his former policies are no longer workings. After I read an article about this topic I scrolled down to the comments section, to see what average Joe had to say about it.
Well interestingly enough, I saw many sensible ideas about "not too right, not too left" is usually the best way. But of course other people had to get their two cents in about the failures of socialist ideas such as:" if everyone is treated too equal then their is no reason to excel". The usual drivel how these ideas stomp on entrepreneurship, individualism & intellectual greatness--fair enough, blame that on the socialists.
But this brings up an idea that I often think about: what in the world is "No Child Left Behind" if not a really socialist idea brought upon by George Bush?? Of course I am 100% behind free education and feel children are our Nations future--but has anyone seen what this policy really does?
As someone who has looked over many public school systems at the elementary level, I see a new pattern developing. Thanks to websites like "Greatschools" that are directly linked to Realtor.com, the number one criteria for evaluating a school district is their test scores. Now do these "test scores" actually show how smart the kids are?? No, the data I have seen on these sites only show how many % pass or fail. So for your school district to get a good score--it only makes sense to help the slowest students. Those kids that can pass easily are neglected. Gifted & talented programs are cut in order to focus on the students needing a boost up, not the other way around.
So the thing I can't understand is why Obama is called the big "socialist" when Bush created this giant socialist scheme himself?? I'm all for helping struggling students, it is essential to educate everyone to help the country at large. But with limited education funding--are we paying as much attention to those kids that will be our future leaders, the ones bored in school?? Aren't we telling them--you only need to "pass the test"....shouldn't we expect more of them?
I just don't get this double standard...

Obama Opinion Polls

I don't trust the public. I feel they are misinformed, have no attention span and spend all their free time watching the boob tube or facebooking about how their cat did the cutest thing.
I rarely meet anyone that actually reads good books or the newspaper everyday. But public opinion polls have no problem asking all these morons what they think. I always love the question : "is congress doing a good job?". It cracks me up. Even with mostly college educated friends, I know only a handful of folks who even know what congress does, let alone actually follows their day to day work...so why are we asking them? It's like asking my dog--"do you approve of the financial bailout?"
That said, the media is obsessed with Obama's numbers declining. I truly feel for the guy. Can the so-called "public" actually explain why they feel this way? Or did they happen to see too many misspelled protest signs and think to themselves: "well it looks like neighbor Bob doesn't like this Obama fellow, I better think that too..."or more likely--"the tabloids are saying Obama is a drunken Muslim" (hard to believe these two completely opposite ideas can be side by side in the same supermarket checkout line).
What did Obama really do that upsets them so much?? The spiraling debt perhaps. But what does "the public" want him to do about the economy? Let it crash and burn? No debt or bail outs then...just poverty.
Same with health care. Something had to be done. You can eliminate Medicare/Medicaid and Social Security or you can radically change the whole system. The public hates both options...so what again did they want the president to do about it? It's like you can't win. Do nothing and they complain, do something and they complain....
It's not like he started a mistake war or anything...so give the guy a break!

My Simple Challenge for Sarah & Glenn

Well I am sure I don't even need to use Palin's and Beck's full names for anyone to know exactly who I am talking about.....
We all know they are good at being snarky, critical, snappy and what have you--but what I don't believe they are good at is something else: world travel.
I'll be honest--I don't know Glenn Becks world travel history. But I am pretty sure Sarah hadn't seen much more than good old Wasilla up until a few years ago. And now that she does travel a bit it is in an insulated vacuum--where you see a sanitized version of cars & hotel rooms, nothing else.
What does traveling have to do with anything you may ask? Well everything in my opinion. Before you say what's right or wrong about America. Or what the people need or want, how they should live and dismantle the UN...you really need to take a good trip around the world and see what works and what doesn't. It's like the best school in the "world". Any idea you have-some other country might have already tried it. Saves valuable time.
Ask people in Canada, do they like their lives? How about in Denmark?--talk to real middle class folks. Then see what true government deregulation looks like--try some third world countries. My travel schedule for Glenn & Sarah would include a few evil "socialist countries" like France or Sweden. Then try some deregulated economic fun--like Latvia or Chile. Definitely see India. And no hiding out in fancy hotels!
Better yet, make it a reality show: Sarah & Glenn's excellent adventure....then come back and talk .

What the Tea Party Really Thinks About Average Americans

Listen up average people, and by that I mean those who make about 100,000 a year or less. Those that make more, may stop reading now.
Here's the honest thing that doesn't get discussed by political conservative types, such as the Tea Party Express. Why they really don't want to pay federal taxes...It is because they think you are a loser. That's right folks--incompetent, unable to be rich, lazy loser.

I have been reading up on conservative theory, and the pro-industry, anti-tax types all share a similar belief. The rich are simply better. They are smarter, more able bodied and hyper-active. This is the way it should be and it's not their problem if you are not like them. So they have no reason to spend even one dime on your silly little public schools (there's always private school for the rich), Medicaid or Medicare (heck, they are already covered) or any other stupid public project. Like public transportation- (get a car you lazy s.o.b.) They simply feel that when they are taxed, they are being robbed for the worst possible reason--keeping all these dumb losers on life support ("why don't you just go die somewhere" is more acceptable)

If you really knew what the rich think about everyone else, you just wouldn't vote Tea Party--no way. They hate you, but are smart enough to recruit you for their own cause. Make you shoot yourself in the foot.
So what if you were born disabled, low IQ, into an abusive home, whatever--that's your stupid problem, not theirs. And granted some people do make it out of horrible or even just plain simple circumstances to become great and wealthy people in America, no question. But many more just do not. And this my friends, is what the rich consider your moral shortcoming.

If you don't believe me, just read something like "Atlas Shrugged" from beginning to end--it will take a good year, but you can see the hate & loathing towards those who have less money. (and Reagan was a fan of Ayn Rand) You betcha! (ever wonder why the richer Sarah Palin gets, the angrier her rhetoric?)