I suffer from a (let's call it) moderate case of germaphobia. Unlike most folks who fear being left alone in the Alaskan wilderness without bear spray or some sort of rifle, I fear abandonment sans hand sanitizer !
Nevertheless, I ventured forth to the local grocery store this morning. Hoping to avoid the germy cart, I decided to simply carry my meager items through the store aisles. As I was walking towards the toilet paper section (all the while balancing an assortment of containers in my arms) I became temporarily distracted by the disinfectant display. There amongst the cans and sprays was a sign proclaiming: "look what's new!" It was lemon scented Lysol. This was quite a treat for germaphobic me--as my husband and I had long ago given up on the unbearable scents offered by Lysol, as they often evoked "perfume of cheap whore".
Maybe fake lemon scent would be better??? This got me quite excited. However, as I carefully reached for a can, my precariously held items toppled over, causing the glass container of Santa Cruz lemonade to shatter all over the aisle....Foiled.
Being a guilt filled liberal, I immediately located the nearest store associate and confessed by mess. She was quite nice about it, but did notice the ridiculous pile of groceries and toilet paper I held in my arms, causing her to ask: "don't you need a cart?"
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