Pizza Hut Wants to Control the World

I recently had my first experience ordering Pizza Hut online, fairly painless procedure--but then they sent me the most annoying email--"tell your friends you just ordered from Pizza Hut!"
Maybe that makes sense if you are in college--(but can you really afford to share??) 
BUT why-oh-why do they think some middle aged mamma would even consider adding that on Facebook?? Like: "look how pathetic I am , I can't cook, nor do I know how to order something healthy for my family" ?!

And on that note, let me say why I was even ordering a greasy Pizza Hut purchase in the first place: because they are bribing my child, that's why.
Everyone goes on and on, about how they don't want so much "government control", but what about friggin Pizza Hut control??
They have infiltrated all the elementary schools and are bribing kids with "Book it" coupons for pizza. If you read for a few minutes a day each week, you get the stupid pizza coupon. 
Now to my child, this is pure gold. Never allowed to eat fats (ooh typo, but I like it!) food anyway--here it is--he is being paid in junk food and getting quite a good taste for it!!! But of all things --Pizza Hut! They only serve Pepsi products NO JUICE or MILK, and are totally part of the 'problem.' How is this criminal behavior even allowed in our schools? Is anyone paying attention?

Tale of the Stinky Amaryllis

Better late than never they say. So today was the day to plant my Christmas Amaryllis bulb-- purchased at the local grocery store some time ago. I knew the poor thing was just waiting for me.
Upon purchasing the red lion Amaryllis , I had glanced at the box--it said Bulb from Brazil, assembled in USA. Ok I thought, no red flags there....
But those red flags were hiding within the box!!! The bulb looked decent enough, but it came with an easy planting soil kit--an expandable disc of soil like matter.
The first hint that I was not going to like the so called "soil"--were the chicken feathers. Yes, why are there feathers on top of my "soil ball?". Next --the little attached note that stated this particular "soil" was from Sri Lanka ! Why? 
But, without any soil at home in January, I followed the "hydrating instructions"--pouring warm water onto the soil--only to encounter an expanding mass of some sort of fecal matter. It didn't just smell like fecal matter--there was also a strong odor of chickens and mold! Overwhelmed by the smell (and yes--I know what soil should smell like--usually like earth and hippies)  I had no choice but to rush my chicken shit ball out of the house. After all, I did not need to introduce the home to a new kind of exotic mold spore, nor bird flu. Nobody was going to be able to handle being in the same room as the stink ball anyway. I dumped it (where else), behind the old chicken coop on our property--that's why I have pretty good idea what moldy chicken feces smells like!! But why oh why, must this exotic moldy poultry poop be sold at my local grocery store?????
  

Ask Why When Spreading A Conspiracy Theory, Ok???

Here we go again, another conspiracy theory is on the loose. This time that crazy Obama staged the Newton massacre, in order to push through gun control! 
(Don't know how all that government "red tape" disappears when it's time to pull off a hoax ...(?) Maybe the department of vast hoaxes could rewrite the tax code?) But I regress...
The way I see things--you need to look at the "why"--what is the motivation?? I keep hearing that Obama's entire mischievous agenda is to "take away our guns". But can anyone follow that up with a good "why?"
What is he planning to do with unarmed Americans? Turn them into the French? (yummy! 2 hour lunches, more wine, longer vacations) or worse!--Canada?? Will we wear sued shoes, ice skate and say "eh" all day long?  I'm sure the birthers simply assume there will be a grand military coup, and all the white men will be forced on to trains heading for Wyoming (but won't they be happier there?)
Or the worse case scenario: if we had no guns, we would be like the Japanese. With their ridiculously safe nation and zero gun homicide rate! But now who would want that?

Would Laser Cats Be Permitted?

I decided to research a little bit on Google if there are in fact any neighborhood subdivisions that disallow households from keeping massive amounts of firearms. (you know--maybe some folks would want covenants preventing militias nearby)
 From my limited (I do pretend to have a life you know) searches, I came upon numerous covenant lists for normal, boring ass subdivisions. The language was pretty much unanimous regarding guns and weapons, stating only: "no discharge of firearms of any kind from the property."
So in effect--keep as many weapons, explosives or whatever you like in the home--as long as we don't hear it..
The crazy thing is, that these same covenants would list--"two household pets per home are permitted".  So,the logic is--you can have like 35 assault rifles--but not 3 cats. Or say two cats and a dog. What about a rabbit and two gerbils? (Or heaven forbid "nuisance growths" i.e.-weeds) That is certainly forbidden.

My question is--if you have "laser cats" (like on SNL) are they considered constitutionally protected weapons, thus allowing more than two per household in the subdivision??
 

Waiting For the Republicans to Implode

Now isn't this what we are waiting for? Soon enough dear friends, the Republican party will simply implode. Collapse from within--poof! Maybe the Tea Party fantasy of turning North America into South America will not come to fruition after all......(But I'll sure miss building those giant walls around our homes).
While I am patiently waiting for the conservative implosion, I have had some time on my hands to try and figure out --who are all these bozos buying up the assault weapons?? What kind of person thinks they need a house full of assault weapons??
I have actually Googled the topic and mostly find : "because of the upcoming ban". 
What does that mean? Is it like buying the last Twinkies? Are they going to be selling all that ammo on Ebay soon for a mark up?
The other answer you hear is that it's a trendy "prepper" type of thing. "The hungry urbanite liberals will be coming for my chickens and water you know".
Well FYI preppers--the hungry liberals coming after your free range eggs don't have any assault weapons! They don't even have any broken old shot guns or sling shots.
So when the giant Meteorite or whatever happens, you may have hungry hipsters at your doorsteps, but most likely they'll only be looking to charge their iphones (to look for an open Panera , maybe a Starbucks?) They may resort to attacking you--via blog. Or how about the most violent thing an urban liberal knows how to do? Scream at Fox news perhaps?
So you'll be attacking these poor well dressed individuals with assault weapons, as they hide under their ipads and beg for mercy? Just give them the eggs damn it.