Before I begin my obvious tirade, let me explain that the East Coast I am referring to--is the crazy busy corridor between DC, Northern NJ and NYC....
Having spent a bit of my time in this 'cluster of stress' myself, I suggest a simple brochure be given out to newcomers, to make them feel more welcome...
Step One: Acquire dead end job. Make sure you don't actually like the work.
Step Two: Purchase a vehicle and house that you can't afford. These items will help you feel superior to others. You now have the liberty to say: "so and so is lazy". Or weird, or stupid, or socialist...whatever word you choose that makes you feel better about yourself. Make sure you talk about this all the time.
Step Three: Become insanely busy so you get really, really, grumpy. If anyone catches you not being busy, glance at your cell phone to pretend you are.
Step Four: Now that you are grumpy and driving a kick ass car, (while glancing at your cell phone)-- make sure to use your middle finger often-- especially at other drivers. Part of feeling superior is to always remember that your destination trumps all others. Especially when sitting in traffic.
Step Five: Enjoy a slice of pizza. One of the blessings of the East Coast is good, cheap pizza--appreciate it!
Step Six: Purchase asthma inhaler (self-explanatory)
Step Seven: Make sure to tell everyone you meet how stressed out you are. This will no doubt make them cherish and admire you.
(That's it--Simple directions for a complex corridor).
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