Suffering From Sun Guilt

I assume most folks think that "sun guilt" is something experienced by those who forget to apply vast amounts of sunscreen. But no..
The "sun guilt" I am referring to is something uniquely Alaskan. Caused not by sun exposure, but the idea that you are not running towards it when available to you.
Let me explain. Some may naively assume cloudy Seattle or rainy Portland are the dreariest cities in the USA, blissfully unaware of the dark horrors witnessed by most Alaskans.  When glancing at silly charts describing "sun indexes of US towns" --one can see that they don't even bother to mention Anchorage or Juneau in their little graphs...(I assume it is simply too depressing). Thus, Seattle (wrongly) always wins the title of "gloomiest city" or whatever.
Now that you know that Alaska is the unofficial winner of the 'least sunniest climate contest', I can better explain the phenomena of "sun guilt".
This is a strange affliction experienced by Alaskans on a bright and sunny day.  It starts with all the announcements on the radio: "get out of work early!" or "did you look outside today?" Followed by friends calling or coworkers commenting--"this is the best day ever!"  All this hoopla because it is sunny and bearable outside. Now, some people actually do jump into their cars and leave work early (I am not kidding) and grab their hiking boots, kayaks, bikes or what have you. But then some of us--for whatever reason, may just not be in the mood to get out there. And that's when the "guilt" hits. 
You keep thinking to yourself-- "why the heck am I indoors today?" or "at least I need to get out and BBQ".  It is ruthless, as this guilt continues eating away at you. Until, at the very least, you shuffle over to the window and sit there like a lazy cat, basking in the warmth. All this anguish caused by the infrequent sun...

HGTV Secretly Stands for Hysteria TV

For the past ten years I have had very limited access to TV. Yet, these past few months I have had a rude awakening as to what is actually out there....As I put on my life vest and began swimming through the digital offerings---dodging drunken housewives, preachy red-necks and repetitive Alaska shows-- HGTV managed to catch my eye.
At first, it can suck you in because you never know--are they in Australia? Hawaii? Cleveland or Canada?? But then a disturbing pattern became evident to my family. Hysteria is back.
Now Hysteria is an archaic mental health diagnosis, once readily assigned to emotional and irrational women. In modern times, it has finally been rejected by the medical community. That is up until now.
I truly fear that if the authors of of the new DSM (diagnostic manual) watch about 24 hours worth of HGTV, the diagnosis of women's hysteria will be highlighted in the new edition.
What we as a family have observed is--- the way westernized women behave around kitchens. It doesn't matter if it is a remodeling show, or a house hunting show. They keep acting like crazy people in the kitchens. Some sort of bizarre insecurity takes hold, as they insist and insist on stainless steel appliances. We watched in horror as one woman made orgasmic noises in front of a "high end refrigerator". If someone happens upon an "outdated kitchen" the women act like they have stumbled upon a murder scene, and flee disgusted. Some insist on ambitious plans to rip the poor kitchens to shreds. And then when a kitchen is "modernized", swoon and sing as they rub the granite counter tops--satiating primal longings to be back in the stone age.
So in the years I missed watching TV, what I really missed was the great conspiracy to drive women crazy. What happened to the days when humans were glad just to have kitchens? (like the rest of the non-westernized world for crying out loud!)