I'm From Alaska and Running for President

So I hear the crazy lady "formerly" from Wasilla, Alaska is now stating she has some sort of presidential belly indigestion. Well good for her. That makes me, an Alaskan woman, ready to run for president as well.
What does Sarah have that I can't top??

Alaskan address, in "real American" town--got that.
Tan--yes, it's been sunny up here all week long.
Looks--I've never been called ugly.
Loud & Opinionated--very much so, especially with a few glasses of wine, I could speak at the RNC.
Ability to quit serious jobs at a moments notice--this will be tougher for me, but I can do it.
College degree-- got mine and an MS in the same time it took her to get a bachelors, but maybe the masses won't notice my 'elitism'.
Ability to walk in very high heels--I just tried this one--and yes I can!

So there you have it, I am fully qualified. Where do I sign up??